psychiatric medicine

since i’m taking medication and seeing a psychiatrist, maybe I should evaluate myself and my life, and see if there aren’t things that medication might be able to help.  or else what are some viable alternatives if there is something medication cannot help.  do I have any life goals or goals for myself?  can medicine help with motivation?  do I lack motivation?


what can be done

“However it is accomplished, when the costs of pollution are internalized, the best business decision comes into alignment with the best environmental decision.”

–Charles Eisenstein, Sacred Economics, p.179

“Anything you learn to do for yourself or for other people, without paying for it; any utilization of recycled or discarded materials; anything you make instead of buy, give instead of sell; any new skill or new song or new art you teach yourself or another will reduce the dominion of money and grow a gift economy to sustain us through the coming transition.”

–Charles Eisenstein, Sacred Economics, p.140

“I foresee a future in which we maintain local, regional, and global ceilings on the use of various resources.  Fishery catches, ground-water use, carbon emissions, timber harvests, topsoil depletion, and many more will be carefully monitored and held to sustainable levels.”

–Charles Eisenstein, Sacred Economics, p.181

“Ultimately, I envision decentralized, self-organizing, emergent, peer-to-peer, ecologically integrated expressions of political will.”

–Charles Eisenstein, Sacred Economics, p.187

“I have been gratified to discover, in my interaction with people from all parts of the political spectrum, a near-universal reverence for community, for nature, and for the beautiful products of human culture.  Around these common values, which political language tends to obfuscate by superimposing divisions atop our common humanity, the currency of sacred economy will emerge.”

–Charles Eisenstein, Sacred Economics, p.186

“Armed struggle seems to be for now a self-defeating prospect. However, what anarchists may consider in this speculative context is the possibility of creating the appropriate conditions for its success.… The strategic outlook already prevalent among anarchists is that the road to revolution involves the proliferation of urban and rural projects of sustainable living, community-building and the development of skills and infrastructures. But while this is usually couched in terms of ‘hollowing out’ capitalism, it can also be considered as the creation of a sustainable social base for more militant activity, up to (possibly) insurrection. In such a situation, armed struggle would be undertaken, not by isolated groups of desperadoes, but by communities which have already carved out a significant space of autonomy within hierarchical society.”

–Uri Gordon, Anarchy Alive! Anti-Authoritarian Politics from Practice to Theory, p107-108



“Not only must we stop celebrating greed (and enabling it to run rampant through our policy choices), we also have to provide supports for pro-social cooperative behaviors that embody the altruistic and compassionate aspects of human nature that are expressed through the remaining 99% of us.

A sketch of the solution might look like this

Gather together the best knowledge we have about human nature — as it emerges from the cognitive and social sciences — to inform the design of institutional policy, legislation, incentive structures, and regulatory bodies.  Employ it to critique long-standing assumptions about economic behavior and political power.

Diagnose the current global economy to reveal pathways where psychopathic tendencies are expressed.  Target these areas for policy reform as a “damage control” measure while engaging in broader debate about how to build replacement structures.

Create policy-development frameworks that promote cooperative behavior amongst people and with the broader environments on which we depend for our survival.  This includes new metrics of success (e.g. replace Gross Domestic Product with more systematic measures like General Progress Indicators or Gross National Happiness), greater investments in societal infrastructure (e.g. public education, medical research, Earth monitoring systems, etc.) that enable us to integrate our increasingly sophisticated knowledge about global change into the management of social and economic systems.

Introduce incentive systems (with clearly defined and enforceable punitive measures) that enable our psychopaths to participate in society in a more beneficial and less disruptive manner.  We need to recognize that people with these behavioral tendencies will likely always be part of the societal mix.  Helping them find ways to participate as productive members of society will go a long way towards containing the harms they might produce and promoting social cohesion across our pluralistic societies where past harms remain to be fully healed.

I have intentionally set out these parameters at a broad conceptual level because this topic is too nuanced and complex for any one person to hold all the answers.  Hopefully what I’ve written here will encourage you to think more deeply about what is happening in the world — and what role(s) you might fill in helping to create a new economic system that serves us all.  It is safe to assume that I’ve made significant omissions and that much more needs to be brought into the conversation before we can begin to implement the solutions I recommend or any others which improve upon them.

For now, it is my hope that the ideas presented here create new insights for us as we struggle to articulate the path beyond the political impasse that has stalled action on financial reform and climate change in recent years.  Perhaps these thoughts will also inform our next steps as we ponder how to improve upon the Occupy Movement and Arab Spring of 2011 to elevate and meld together the social movements of the world into a coherent new economic and political system capable of delivering complex outcomes for our interconnected and rapidly changing world.”

–Joe Brewer, How Will the 99% Deal with 70 Million Psychopaths?



if only for the moment, i do feel empowered.  i feel at peace in my body.  i feel grounded and centered.  for whatever reason.  it doesn’t matter why.

there’s a book on its way in the mail.  one that i’ve wanted to read for some time now.  I feel content with my coffee and cigarettes.  no beer, no wine, no liquor, no drugs.  music and books.  music and books.  coffee, cigarettes, music, books.

to be able to make music that moves me and learn about what interests me are indispensable freedoms.  priceless privileges.

apocalyptic whirlwind depression

if i’ve failed more miserably at being a human being than anyone, then perhaps in a sense i’ve attained a level of humanness nobody else has.  that is to say, if our imperfections and our mistakes are what make us human, if our shortcomings and our failures are what make us human, then i am as human as it gets.

does anyone else have such an incredibly lacking sex life?  social life?  i feel pitiful.  pathetic.  i feel like i don’t belong.  like i almost can’t talk to people i don’t know.  i feel like an outsider.  a weirdo.  i can’t even compensate for it with some kind of substantial knowledge or meaningful involvement in the world.

all i seem to have going for me is that i am sensitive and i don’t even know if that counts as a good quality.  i’m emotionally intelligent.  insightful.  that’s about it.  what am i supposed to do with that?  it certainly isn’t going to get me laid.  i’m a waste of good looks.  i know nothing about the world.  i can understand and get along with people but i’m also shy and awkward and introverted.

evidently i have low self-esteem and am largely preoccupied with my insecurities.

the two non-drug drugs

one is self-indulgence.  egoism.  the life I want for myself.  the image I want for myself.  spiritual materialism.  spiritual egotism.  the health food trip.  the meditation trip.  the bodhisattva trip.  the rock star trip.  the environmental activist trip.

the other is the true felt experience.  the one without grasping.  the arrested impulse.  true love.  my grave.  my family’s grave.  the transpersonal love that extends to all people and all of life.  the emotion that is beauty.  the surrender.  the real transcending of pettiness, of the personal melodrama, of vanity and self-absorption.




good life imagined

one of my girlfriends just took off to go to work.  she likes to sleep until noon on saturdays.  we’re more like friends with benefits.  there’s a map and a pen on my pillow where i’ve been planning an east coast tour with my music equipment.  right now my room is clean, my bed is made, and i’m sipping tea as i work on a commission piece for a couple of friends.  soon i’ll be in the kitchen trying out a delicious vegan recipe i found on the internet.  it’s high alkaline and packed with protein and complex carbs.

NGO’s Are Bad Mkay

Environmental Non-Governmental Organizations are funded by profit-driven corporations that destroy the planet and the lives of poor and indigenous peoples.

The United Nations likewise cannot be trusted because they also cooperate with multinational mega-corporations that perpetrate systemic violence in the name of predatory capitalism.

A) True

B) False

Who Shapes the United Nations Agenda?

Who Shapes the United Nations Agenda? | Wrong Kind of Green

“The global institutional machinery of the so-called United Nations is designed to destroy the sovereign will of the peoples. That is where a bureaucracy works in the service of capital and imperialism. We, the peoples of the world, do not accept that international organizations should appropriate to themselves the right of invasion and intervention. The UN has no morality to impose. We, the peoples of the world, do not accept this elitist institutionality of the bureaucrats of the empire.


It was in the bowels of the UN that the privatizing green economy originated, which we understand as the black economy of death; from those entrails originate the recipes for privatization and interventionism. The UN seems to be the Organization for the Rich and Powerful Countries; perhaps it should be named the INO, Imperialist Nations Organization. That UN we do not want, we disown it.


That neoliberal bureaucracy, the bureaucracy of the green economy and privatization, the bureaucracy that promotes structural adjustments, those functionaries of capital and ideologists of domination and poverty, act with the patriarchal and colonial conviction that the peoples and developing countries are incapable and stupid and that to emerge from poverty we must faithfully follow their development recipes.” — Evo Morales’ historic speech at the Isla del Sol